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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Today I Got Hit with the Slapstick (Hard, again)

It's Morning in New York City...

It's good to be a "morning type."

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, energetic, and eager to start the day. 

Coffee, shower, get dressed ... move, move, move ...

It's a lovely morning in NYC but still a bit nippy in the early hours.  

I decide that my black hoodie would be in order today -- warm but light, easy to remove and stuff into a bag as the day gets warmer.  OK, check.  

Another cup of coffee.  OK, check.

Now .... collect my tools for the day ... lap top, power supply, headphones, cigarettes, lighter, water bottle, pen, pad, phone, charger, Lifesavers (Wintergreen) .... OK, check.

I'm loving the efficiency, the easy flow of energy, the simple satisfaction of physical coordination and ease ... a kind of morning dance, a gymnastic display of great harmony for an audience of one -- Me.

Pack up the shoulder bag neatly --- first lap top, then power pack, then front pockets -- phone  .... everything in, everything neat, everything ready  ... lean over, zip up all the compartments  ... OK, check.   

Now grab the fresh coffee off the dresser and Out the Door .....  OK, check.

Whoa bubba, not so fast.

When I zipped up my bag I didn't notice that both strands of the drawstring from my black hoodie were zipped inside the bag.

And when I stood up to grab my coffee the whole bag came up with me   -- about 10 lbs of STUFF was connected to my THROAT by a suddenly menacing piece of string.  

Not expecting this, I was thrown off balance and fell sideways.  Grabbing for something to keep from falling as the noose pulled tighter around my neck and my bag swung wildly, I knocked over my VERY HOT black coffee.  

Luckily the coffee didn't splash all over the walls ..... because most of it spilled down my front -- giving my "naughty bits" a wake up call of their very own.

So .... I'm being choked by a shoulder bag ...  OK, check ... 

So ... my genitals are suffering second degree burns .... OK, check  ....  

So ... I'm clawing at the string with one hand, coffee cup in the other, eyes tearing up ...  OK, check.

It's good to be a morning type.  

Beth Israel Emergency Room?

OK, check.

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